Lessons During the Night

Sometimes, the life gives us adverse situations to help to develop ourselves. There is Brazilian proverb that says Deus só dá um fardo que você pode carregar. It may be translated to “God only gives you a burden that you can carry.” I often tell myself that quote. It has strengthened and assisted me to face my daily challenges. It expresses perfectly a moment when my burden seemed almost too heavy to carry.  

In 2005, I was in college, and my major was the same then as it is now, Chemical Engineering. While I was studying, a great opportunity appeared. The chance to work in a small American company named Gage Products, which sells chemical products, such as solvents and greases. Its main customer was the Ford Motor Company, so I would have a chance to work with chemical products, one of my passions, inside The Ford Complex located in Camaçari, only 50 kilometers from Salvador, where I lived. I always talk to myself, and I remember my conscience saying, “Opportunities only arise once a lifetime”. I knew I had to take this job.

 In that moment, I was not in a good situation in my life. I was dealing with several rocks and thorns in my academic and personal lives. My family was facing some financial problems and I hoped that if I worked, I would have the power and money to help them. In addition, with that opportunity, I would gain experiences that I had not yet had and I would deal with adverse situations, which would assist me to become a more mature person. However, I only focused my attention in financial side of the job because I have never had money to do what I want when I was a teenager, therefore I could taste the feeling of freedom and independence.

I was qualified for the job so I got it. Before I started, Gage Products had only employee in the Ford Complex. I was the second. I was astonished when my boss, who was the first employee and worked in the commercial hour, said that I would work during the night due to the industry produced cars 24 hours per day, so my aim was to help and solve problems related to chemical products that Gage Products sold to Ford motor Company. In that moment my conscience said encouraging me that I was capable of enduring that new situation. And my conscience also teased me when it said that while everyone might be sleeping, I would transpire with my new job.

That nighttime work was really special for me. It helped to contribute to my household, save some money for the future, and most importantly, learn some important lessons that I would carry forever with me.

Unfortunately, I could not stand working during the night, studying during the day, and sleeping two or three hours per day. My body showed me that exhausting routine was not good for my health. I got sick many times, my memory did not function well, and I was usually in a bad mood so I needed to find a solution for my suffering.

I often battled with my conscience but it was always the same.

“Marcelo” said my conscience. “One more day. You can”.

"I cannot standed it!” I said. “I need to rest. It is not life".

"If you focus on your studies and you don’t go out on the weekends …".

"I can’t live this way!" said sadly me.

"Marcelo, maybe you should choose: your job or your college. You cannot hold everything…your grades aren’t good. Maybe the job is the best choice. You should talk to your mother".

"The decision is mine to make. And the consequences of my decision, good or bad, will be my responsibility" said me ending the conversation.

That conversation happened uncountable times before I made a decision, the most difficult and anguishing one that I have ever made. I chose the job and dropped out the college. Nobody in my family agreed with me, but it was my choice. Even my conscience knew that.

Despite having dropped out college, I did not get used to the nighttime work. None of the days, I could sleep well, even when I slept for twelve hours.

Some years passed. Years of sleepless nights and little social life. In 2009, I saw myself thinking about my past, present, and future. What actions should I have done different? What should I do to the next years be better than the last four years? Certainly, one of my options that was pounding in my head was return to college. With that pounds, my conscience also made me reminder that behind my suffering could hide great lessons.

First, even small details are important. Every day, I considered myself blessed to see the sun rise. It was so beautiful when the first beams touched the ground. A radiated happiness warm my heart by that view. Besides, now my bed has much value for me. We became friends.

Second, while I was commuting to the Ford Motor Company, I kept my mind working. I remember I have read almost a hundred books. I used them to my self-development. With their aid I noticed that I should have I plan for my future and goals to achieve in my life in order to reach my full potential. That plans must detail actions and time to finish each one of it. Exactly as Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.”

And finally, I should not care so much about what happens at work. It is not good let it influence my life in a way that hinders my relationships and the people that I love most.

Today, I firmly believe that the burdens that we carry can be our ally. We are like rough diamonds and the problems and burdens are as emeries. These shape us and get the best of us. With their help, we can shine very brightly.