Girl on Fire

                                                                        Shana Li

          “She’s Chinese, she speaks Chinglish!” I heard it from a noble American classmate. He was laughing; all Americans were laughing; only I was not laughing. I felt embarrassed because the girl who they laughed at was me. I could not forget that moment, the voices of laughter sounded in my ear for a long time; I was unable to break away from the invisible net. The struggle helps me to grow, to mature, and to develop.

          Starting a new life may be disturbing; but I made the decision to set foot in the United States when I was sixteen years old. America was a brand new country for me; and its culture and customs were significantly different from my country. I never knew what was ahead waiting for me. As the famous line in Forrest Gump says, “Life is like a box of chocolates, and you never know what you’re going to get.” However, that is the meaning of life; life is joyful and appealing. To feel the joy of victory, I have opened the box of chocolates. I have made the decision to study abroad where life is brand new for me; some unexpected challenges are right there waiting for me, and I embrace them, welcome them, and am exciting and ready for them.

          One of the most difficult problems I have come across is language. Due to lack of practice in the language environment, my English is not good. And what happened in one math class at the beginning of the semester really touched my heart, leading to the realization that I have to do something to face my new life.

          In the class, the math teacher asked a question that I knew the answer. At first, I observed the class, but no one else was raising their hands. I tried to work up the courage to raise my hand, but then I realized that my English was too poor to communicate with others. I did not know how to translate my ideas from Chinese to English. I tried to speak, but when I heard some laughs within the classroom, I felt ashamed. I heard some classmates telling “Chinglish,” I felt so embarrassed because I knew they were making fun of me. I think they laughed for a minute or two, but I felt it was like a year for them to stop laughing.

I wanted to sink from my seat or simply vanish. Then, my teacher stopped the class and asked the question again. Someone raised his hand and answered the question correctly. I did not know if I would thank him because he “saved” me for he diverted the class to a new topic, though I knew that he was one of the people who laughed at me in the middle of my embarrassment. At that moment, I only wanted to go back to China.

          Arriving at the dormitory, I called my father and told him everything. After a moment of silence, hearing the weeping at the other end of the phone, he asked me: 

          “Honey, before you came to America, you already knew how difficult it would be, right?”

          “I did, but it is not the way I expected” I answered in injured tones and cried. 

        

          “Not everything would be the way you expected; you could not control it, and me neither, no one could.” My dad said softly, then he asked me solemnly:

          “If there are some unexpected things happened to you, then you just run away? Is that good? You might be able to could escape it one time, but will you be able to escape every time?”

          I did not say anything but stopped crying.

          “Honey, you have made great progress since you started to live independently. What a brave girl you are! I believe that you can face the difficulties and overcome them. I believe in you!”

           My father’s words brought me back to the days when I strived to apply for the school as an overseas student, and the days when I worked together with my friends, all of us encouraging each other. How can I give up my belief? How can I betray my dream? How can I just give up when I faced the challenge?

          I braced myself up to face the challenge and made the determination to improve English. Day and night, I grasp every chance to practice my English and whenever I come across English questions, I consult books, classmates or teachers to figure them out. Thanks to the arduous efforts of people who helped me with my poor English, my English has improved a lot, and with the progress in English skills, I have performed well in other courses.

          “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing” I am in fond of the words by Helen Keller, who overcame the disaster in life to survive with the love for life and the respect earned through endeavors and beliefs. As we are eager to make life full of happiness and hope, we are supposed to face difficulties and accept different experiences of life. It is those hardships and the efforts in challenging ourselves that make us a full person, progressing unceasingly.